What Is Coercive Control? And Why Do “Evil” People Use It?

Jan 30

Coercive control is a deeply harmful pattern of behavior in which one person systematically dominates another to strip away their freedom, independence, and sense of self. It is not a single frightening incident, but a sustained strategy of psychological abuse that builds over time, often without visible physical violence. While most commonly associated with intimate relationships, coercive control can also occur within families, workplaces, and other social systems.

At its core, coercive control is about power, not love, not conflict, but domination. Rather than isolated angry moments, it relies on ongoing psychological tactics designed to isolate the victim, undermine their confidence, and create dependence. This dependency traps people in relationships or environments that feel impossible to leave, even when they sense that something is deeply wrong.

How Psychology Defines Coercive Control

Coercive control includes behaviors such as:

Monitoring communications or movements
Restricting access to friends, family, or finances
Repeated intimidation or implied threats
Gaslighting: causing someone to doubt their memory or sanity
Gradually limiting autonomy and decision-making
Divide and “Conquer”

These tactics often begin subtly and escalate over time, forming what many survivors describe as an “invisible cage,” a controlled reality that comes to feel like normal life.

Sociologist Evan Stark, one of the leading researchers on coercive control, defined it as a system of behaviors that creates a condition of unfreedom or oppression. A person may appear physically free, yet psychologically trapped.

Why Do “Evil” People Use Coercive Control?

People who engage in coercive control are not seeking connection; they are seeking dominance. Psychological research links this behavior to:

Narcissistic or antisocial personality traits
Low empathy and entitlement beliefs
Fear of vulnerability combined with a need for control
Learned patterns from environments where control equaled safety or status

Importantly, these behaviors are intentional. Studies consistently show that coercive controllers adjust their behavior strategically; appearing charming or reasonable in public while tightening control in private. This calculated pattern is why many psychologists describe coercive control as predatory rather than impulsive.

What Does the Research Show?

Research across psychology, public health, and criminology demonstrates that coercive control causes significant and lasting harm:

Studies involving mothers and children show increased emotional and behavioral difficulties linked to coercive control, even more strongly than physical violence alone.
Survivor research describes a persistent “condition of antifreedom,” marked by fear, unpredictability, and loss of agency.
Police and risk-assessment studies identify coercive control as a strong predictor of future physical violence.

These findings make one thing clear: coercive control is not “minor” or “just emotional conflict.” Its effects often persist long after the relationship or environment ends.

How Coercive Control Looks in Real Life

Imagine someone who:

Logs into your accounts “just to help”
Reads your messages when you’re asleep or in the shower
Checks your browser history or search suggestions
Look through your bags, drawers, or personal notes
Asks questions they already know the answers to (to see if you’ll “slip”)
Uses shared devices to monitor your activity
Goes through your email or cloud backups
Checks your location history without telling you
Asks friends or family about you without your knowledge
Frames surveillance as a concern
Checks your phone behind your back and calls it “protection”
Pressures you to cancel plans because “no one cares like I do”
Controls finances or interferes with work
Denies events you clearly remember

Each behavior may seem small in isolation. Together, they form a pattern that erodes self-trust, autonomy, and identity.

Divide and “Conquer”: A Key Narcissistic Tactic

Another coercive control tactic commonly used by narcissists is divide and “conquer”= isolation + manipulation= control.
This tactic works by intentionally separating the target from support systems. By creating conflict, spreading doubt, or positioning themselves as the only trustworthy voice, the controller weakens outside influence and fosters dependence. Once divided and isolated, the person becomes easier to manipulate and dominate—often without realizing what is happening until their independence has already been eroded.

“Freedom begins the moment you recognize control for what it is.”

Coercive Control Beyond “Personal” Relationships

Coercive control is not limited to “partnerships”. It can appear in workplaces and social environments:

A manager discourages collaboration, then criticizes an employee for “not being a team player.”
A supervisor withholds information and punishes unavoidable mistakes
A leader creates conflict between others to maintain authority

Organizational psychology research shows these environments lead to burnout, self-doubt, and reduced performance, not due to incompetence, but sustained psychological pressure.

Why Naming Coercive Control Matters

One of the most damaging effects of coercive control is confusion. Survivors often feel something is wrong but lack the language for it. Trauma research shows that naming the behavior restores clarity, self-trust, and agency.

Understanding coercive control reframes the experience: